


'til the edge of the world

by ericaismeg



Series: omgcp [8]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, question games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 02:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10584564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/ericaismeg
Summary: "Let's say, hypotheticallyof course,that I needed help hiding a body--"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here.](https://ericadays.tumblr.com/post/155143476312/14-and-a-ship-that-you-like-maybe)

**x x x**

Shitty calls Lardo late on a Sunday afternoon. She picks up the phone, slipping it between her ear and shoulder, as she continues on to wash her dishes. They’d made plans a few hours ago via text for their usual Monday night dinner. She hopes he’s not calling to cancel it already. “Yeah?”

“Let’s say, hypothetically _of course,_  that I needed help hiding a body –”

“Hold on,” Lardo says. She turns off the tap and dries her hands off. “I have a shovel in the shed behind the Haus. Where are you?”

“Just like that? No questions asked?”

She snorts, because really. If she ever called Shitty and said the same thing, she knows he wouldn’t ask her a damn question until the job was done.

“What the hell, Lardo?!” a familiar voice comes. She smiles, relaxing her shoulders. Well good. She wasn’t in the mood to do something horrific today anyway.

“Hey Bitty.”

“Ha! You owe me fifty bucks,” Shitty says, laughing.

“Lardo, you wouldn’t _seriously_  help Shitty bury a body, right? You’d do the right thing and ask questions first?” Bitty asks, sounding desperate. She can’t imagine that he’s happy to part with fifty bucks. “Lardo?”

“Sorry, Bits. But for Shitty? I wouldn’t have bat an eye.”

“Wow.”

“Thanks, Lars. I knew you had my back.”

“Always,” she says, with a smile on her face. She flips the tap back on and says, “Love you.”

“Love you too!”

Lardo hangs up the phone, puts it down on the counter beside her, and starts to hum to a song that Shitty’s mother used to sing to him when he was a kid. He’d taught it to her, and every so often, it gets stuck in her head. It’s catchy, what can she say? She scrubs the plate a little harder.

x x x

 

“Yo, Lardo!” she hears Shitty yell from the kitchen. She’s resting against the back of the couch, playing _Mario Kart_  on their N64 with some of the boys. She hits pause, much to their annoyance, and then leans her head back on the couch to see if she can see him. She can’t, definitely not from this angle, but it doesn’t really matter.

“Yeah?” she calls back.

“If I did something really bad, and needed to disappear forever–” Shitty starts to ask.

“When are we leaving?” she shouts back.

“Fuck!” This comes from Ransom.

“How are you guys not hitched already?” Jack asks Lardo, softly from the couch above her. She gives him a bright smile, hoping he doesn’t see the soft ache in her chest.

With a shrug, Lardo hits _Start_  on her controller and has three boys yelling at her for cheating. She laughs and kicks their ass. That’s what they get for having such large egos and promising to annihilate her in this game.

She can hear Shitty’s smug tone, and Ransom’s frustrated one.  _“I can’t believe Lardo would abandon us.”_

She can’t make out Shitty’s response, but she’s laughing because he’s probably boasting about how they’re a packaged deal. Lardo glances up at Jack, and has a twinge of regret. Why isn’t she dating Shitty? They’re practically perfect for one another.

 

x x x

 

“Say I needed a green card,” Shitty suggests one afternoon while they’re out for an extremely late brunch with some of their teammates.

Lardo doesn’t look at him. “Sure, we’d get married.”

“See? Isn’t she the perfect woman?” Shitty asks, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He squeezes her; his face full of pride. Lardo lets out a laugh, but it feels forced. Bitty seems to be the only one who really notices. If anyone else does, they don’t give her that _knowing_  look that Bitty is giving her right now.

Holster huffs. “What about us? Would you give Ransom or myself a green card if we needed it?”

Lardo pretends to ponder the question. “Hmm, let’s see. I think you two might have what it takes to go pro, so…probably.”

Ransom looks offended. “Shitty isn’t going to go pro. But you’d still marry him?”

She looks up at her best friend. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s my girl.”

 _My girl._  Lardo repeats those words in her mind; ignoring the rest of the conversation. How could he not know?

 

x x x

 

“Would you rob a bank or embezzle money or something if I was dying and needed medical care but it cost like a shit ton?” Shitty asks, resting his head down on Lardo’s lap. They’re about to watch _What a Girl Wants_  because Shitty’s in the mood for some classic Amanda Bynes. She runs her fingers through his hair.

A small smile flickers across her face. “If you needed a shit ton of money to save your life, I would be willing to do anything. So yeah, I’d rob a bank or something.”

“What if the only way to save me was to become my wife for life? We could never divorce. You could never see anyone else. You would be stuck with me until we’re old and wrinkly.”

Lardo strokes her thumb on his forehead. “I have no idea why _that_  would be a solution to save you, but yes.”

“Would you regret it? Get resentful?”

“I don’t think so, Shitty. You’re my Knight in shining armor, remember?”

He laughs, and she closes her eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. Tell me. If you had a week to live, and could do any five things in the world, what would they be? Like, money and travel and stuff isn’t an issue.”

Lardo hums for a moment or two, trying to think of five things she’d do. She’d kiss Shitty. She’d tell him that she loves him. She’d spend some days lying in the sun with him on a beach (slathering him with sunscreen so he doesn’t burn). She would marry him so she could call him her husband at least once. And she’d probably throw a party with the hockey team.

She doesn’t say any of that though. Instead, she says, “What about you, Shitty? You’re always asking me hypothetical questions. What about _you_? What if I called you up and asked you to help me with a dead body?”

Shitty reaches up to catch her chin with his fingers. She looks down at him. He laughs. “I’d probably ask you where your shovel is and where you needed to meet. I’d marry you for a green card or if it meant saving your life. I’d become a serial bank robber if it meant paying off any awful medical bills to save you.”

Lardo says, “If I had a week left to live, and only five things I could do…one of them would be spending time with you. I don’t care if we do nothing or if we travel all over. I’d just want to spend time with you.”

 

x x x

 

“So Lars, if there was a zombie apocalypse and I was in another town when the outbreak occurred, what would you do?” Shitty asks over a game of _Go Fish._

“Go Fish,” Jack tells Holster.

“I’d do whatever I could to get to you,” she responds. Holster asks if she has any queens and she shakes her head. “Go Fish. Shitty, do you have any fours?”

“Here,” he says, handing her two. She places four fours down on the table. “You’d really come looking for me?”

“Wouldn’t you do the same?” she asks. “Jack, do you have any fives?”

“Damn, you should’ve asked Bitty. He just picked up two,” Jack says. He shakes his head. “Go Fish.”

 

x x x

 

“Lardo,” Bitty says. They’re sitting on the couch together, drinking. Well, Lardo has been nursing the same screwdriver for the past hour and a half. The party around them is buzzing and the general mood is happy. Lardo feels a little bummed because Shitty couldn’t make it. “Hypothetically, you decide to go travelling for a year. Everything is paid for and booked. A week before you go, you meet the person of your dreams. Do you go on the trip or do you stay back? You can’t get your money back from the trip.”

She smiles. “Shitty’s got you sucked into his game of _What Would You Do_ , hasn’t he?”

“It’s interesting!”

“I’d go on my trip.”

“Even if it was the love of your life?” Bitty asks. “Your soul mate. Your one true love?”

Lardo looks down at her drink. She takes a long sip before saying, “Bittle, I’ve already met him. One more year wouldn’t kill us.”

“Shitty?” Bitty whispers. Lardo feels her face start to heat up. Bitty doesn’t seem that surprised about who. She thinks he might be more surprised that she admitted it to begin with. “Does he feel the same way about you?”

“I don’t know.”

 

x x x

 

“Shitty,” Lardo starts. They’re lying on her bed, he’s got his arms wrapped around her. It’s been a long day for the both of them. They had two exams each and then there was a big Samwell hockey game. “If I was pregnant…”

“Are you?” Shitty asks, instantly. “Who’s the guy? Do you need me to beat him up? Is he not ready to be a father?”

Lardo laughs. “It’s a hypothetical! If I was pregnant, what would you do? Would we stay friends?”

“What are you talking about? Of course we would! I’d love that child as if they were my own, Lardo. You’d never have to worry about them feeling like they didn’t have a father figure growing up,” Shitty tells her. He kisses the top of her head and strokes his thumb on her arm.

“And if I had to get an abortion?”

“I’d go with you if you wanted me to,” Shitty whispers. “I’d support you in any way I could.”

Lardo smiles at the thought. “What if someone started shooting in a room that we were in?”

“I’d cover my body with yours. Instantly. No hesitation.”

She reaches up for his hand and starts playing with his fingers in hers. “Hmm, if you could know the answer to _any_  yes or no questions, what would they be?”

“Can I think about that one?” Shitty asks.

“Yeah.” She shifts to get a better look at him. “What if I got a job in England? Would you come with me or would you stay here?”

“Lars, I’m going to follow you wherever you go.”

A smile crosses her face.

 

x x x

 

“Yes or no question: have you ever thought about having sex with me?” Shitty asks out of the blue one afternoon. He’s sitting on the old couch in her studio with a book in his hand while she paints. She can’t imagine he’s read very much of the book because he keeps talking.

Lardo freezes, and peers at him from the edge of her canvas. “What?”

“If I could know the answer to any _yes or no_  question. That’d be one of my questions.”

Her face flushes. “Ah. Do you have another one?”

“Hmm. No, not at the moment.”

 

x x x

 

“Yes or no question: would you ever date me?”

Lardo lifts her head. “Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She looks down at her hands, fidgeting. “Yes, Shitty. If I haven’t made it perfectly clear to you by now, I _love_  you. Endlessly. I would do _anything_  for you. I’d fight a shark or punch one of the boys. I’d walk on hot stones for ten hours if it meant protecting you. Saving you. I’d rob a bank or bury a body. I love you. I love you so much that sometimes I’m worried that you don’t even realize it.”

Shitty sits upright on the bed. Lardo tilts her head slightly so she can look at him from the corner of her eyes. “Larissa, I–wow.”

“How did you explain our relationship to the boys?” she asks, keeping her voice quiet.

He glances at her. “I just said that there’s no one on earth that I love more than you. You get me and you accept me. Just the way I am. And you–well, I love you. I’ve loved you since you ended our first argument by dragging that paintbrush across my face.”

Lardo laughs. “Well, you weren’t listening to reason.”

“Yes, because it’s so _reasonable_  of you to paint my face,” Shitty teases. She looks at him now. His eyes are bright and hopeful. “Larissa, I know another _yes or no_  question I want the answer to.”

She swallows. “I’d kiss you.”

“What?”

“If I was going to die in a week and I could only do five things,” Lardo rushes to say. “I would kiss you.”

“Yes or no: can I kiss you?”

She starts laughing, and then presses her palm on his chest, leaning in. “Mmm, no.”

“Oh.”

“Kidding,” Lardo murmurs. “You can kiss me any time, any day, Mr. B–”

Shitty presses his lips to hers. Whether it’s because he couldn’t wait another second or because she was about to call him by his first name, she isn’t sure. It doesn’t matter though. His lips are a little dry, so Lardo drags her tongue across them. It must take him by surprise, because he jerks back for a hot second. Then he’s whispering, “Wait, do that again.”

He catches her bottom lip in his teeth, and tugs on it. She’d laugh if she wasn’t incredibly turned on right now.

“What’s another thing?” he asks, pressing his forehead against hers. They’re catching their breath. Barely.

“Another thing?”

“If you had a week to live. What’s another thing you’d do?”

Lardo runs her fingertips down his face. “I’d paint you naked. Bake pies with Bitty. Apologize to my mother and father for disappointing them. Maybe get my nipple pierced.”

He moans.

“Oh, you like that?” she whispers. “Think that’s hot?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll make an appointment Tuesday,” she jokes.

 

x x x

 

“Would you marry me some day?” Lardo asks, curled up on top of Shitty. He keeps playing with her hair.

“I would marry you this weekend.”

Lardo lifts her head and looks at him. “You would?”

“If it’d make you happy. Lars, I meant it when I said I love you more than anyone else on this entire planet.”

“You haven’t met everyone else on this entire planet.”

“I don’t need to. You’re the only one I want. The only one I need.” Shitty chuckles into the darkness. “I sound like a cheesy love song.”

Lardo smiles. “I’d marry you this weekend. If it made you happy.”

“Are we getting married this weekend?” Shitty asks.

She rests her chin on his chest. “I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else.”

“We’re getting married this weekend, aren’t we?” he says with a laugh. He kisses her forehead. “I’ll get the license.”

“I’ll book the courthouse.”

“Jack has to be there.”

“And Bitty,” Lardo adds.

“Ransom and Holster?”

“They’d be devastated if we didn’t include them,” Lardo acknowledges. “Your parents?”

“Fuck that. Yours?”

“Fuck that,” Lardo says. Then she hesitates. “Well. Maybe I’ll call them and tell them.”

“So we’re doing it.”

“I’d do anything for you, Mr. Knight.”

“And I’d do anything for you, Miss. Duan.”

“Miss Knight. Larissa Knight. Has a nice ring to it.”

“Larissa?”

“Mmm?”

“Yes or no question.”

“Okay.”

“Will you marry me this Saturday?”

Larissa leans forward and presses her lips to his. “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

x x x

 

During his vows, Shitty asks, “Yes or no, Larissa Duan. You take my hand in marriage for endless love, a messy adventure, a teammate who will go to the ends of the earth for you…you take my hand in marriage for better or worse. You’ll be my partner and I’ll be yours.”

“Yes,” Lardo whispers. She wipes away some of her tears. “If I had a week left on this planet, I would want to spend every last second with you. Through thick and thin, through the messy adventures. You are my partner, and I am yours. Wherever life takes us, I want to be with you. I love you, B–Shitty Knight.”

“I love you, Larissa Duan.”

“Uh. Um. Well, with the power invested in me by…”

Larissa doesn’t listen to the rest. She throws her arms around Shitty’s neck and kisses him. She can hear Bitty and Holster crying behind them. She doesn’t care. She just married her best friend. Was it impulsive? Yes. Could anything be more _them?_  No.

“–Alright, well, I guess my job is done here. Congratulations. Please sign these papers to make it official and legal and then…”

Shitty grabs her hand. He tugs her over to the table to sign off on their marriage. He looks at her, and leans in to kiss her again. “Hey wife.”

“Hey husband.”

“This is just so beautiful. And sudden. I didn’t even have time to make a wedding cake,” Bitty murmurs.

“Did you make us a pie?” Shitty asks over his shoulder.

“Well, _obviously.”_

“Good enough for us.”

 

x x x


End file.
